Spiritual Mentoring Matters to this Mama

   I've been participating in an online study called "She Reads Truth" and we've been studying the book of Titus.  It's a tiny little addition to Scripture, but it's packed with big truth and big admonitions from Paul to his spiritual son.  At the end of the study, we were given the opportunity to write about our thoughts on spiritual mothering/mentoring because Paul is mentoring and instructing his spiritual son, Titus, in how to teach and instruct the church in Crete.  So, when I thought about the importance of having spiritual mothers and mentors, I immediately thought of several people who have been monumental influences in my life and helped to shape my walk with the Lord. In fact, they may not even realize the impact that they have had on my life.  These lovely women have different personalities and therefore, their words and the way their words were delivered had their own distinct fragrance and feeling.  The one thing they all had in common is this:  they all had the courage to deliver God's Words and God's truth to me without candy coating it to make it easier for me to accept.  
There was relationship between me and the women who mentored and impacted my life--their mentoring flowed out of the relationship that was built between us.  It didn't happen overnight.  Real and deep relationships never happen quickly, and I believe time and attention and reciprocity is required from each person.  Oh, how grateful I am for these Godly women who have influenced so many things in my life.  And oh, how I would love to see more of this kind of mentoring in my community of believers.
   Mentoring is not just for women, however.  Having raised three sons, I pray for Godly men to reach out to my sons and invest in their lives.  Not just any person will do--my prayer is for men who actually have my sons' best interest in mind.  Men who are interested in relationship with them because God calls them to it, not just to acquire their talents or gifts for their own ministry needs.  And I also pray that my sons will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to lead them to young men in which to come alongside and mentor as well.  I'm so thankful that my husband is intentional about mentoring our sons.  He carves out precious time each week to have coffee with each one of them separately in order to stay in the flow of their lives and to help coach them along when they need advice.http://shereadstruth.com/2014/06/12/shesharestruth-2/  I love that! I do believe that real, authentic, close-up spiritual mentoring is not always easy to come by.  Relationships take time to build and time is a commodity that few people have an abundance in which to spend.  I have many opinions on why our commodity of time seems to always be lacking and the reasons for each of us will likely be completely different.   I will ask this: what things are taking up our valuable time?  We obviously have to work.  God is pretty adamant in Scripture about us not being slothful and lazy.  We are busy serving in our churches and communities.  This is also important and God is not silent about this in Scripture either.  I guess I believe that we neglect to wear out God-glasses at work and at church and in our communities.  Aren't we supposed to work to pay our bills AND to minister to and bless the people we work around every day?  Aren't we to serve like crazy in our churches AND to be able to stop long enough to invest in and disciple people in our spheres of influence there?  I'm sad that we get tunnel vision so many times and we forget to ask God to order our steps to the people He wants us to influence and disciple and mentor.  I really believe He intends for us to make a difference in the lives of the Christians we do life with as well as the people in our communities and neighborhoods.  I believe that time spent is such an important factor, yet we don't always obey and spend it in all the right places.  And I'm speaking to myself as well.  I'm adamant about time spent with my family.  My boys may be grown, but I believe in order to be a healthy family, we have to be able to connect with each other at least once a week, if only for a couple of hours over a family meal.  We are so blessed to be able to live in the same area as our kids and you better believe I'm going to take advantage of it.  Our Sunday afternoons/evenings are the only time we can all do this and it's still a challenge at times with all of the activities going on in their lives.  You see, I can't influence my kids if I don't spend time with them.  You and I can't influence and mentor any person if we don't take the time to get to know them and build relationship with them.  How many times do we stuff activities on our calendars when we all need time each week to just "be".  If our lives are too busy to slow down and spend even a couple of hours with the people we love, then we are just too busy.  If our lives are too busy that we can't devote a day to have a Sabbath, then we're too busy.  If our lives are too busy that we can't carve out time to have coffee with a friend or to make a phone call to a struggling friend, then we're too busy.  I believe we have to take inventory of our lives and make some changes, if necessary, in order to preserve our spiritual health and our relational health with one another.
  I don't have all the answers.  I'm on the same journey as everyone else, trying to figure out how to navigate the changing terrain and landscape of my life.  But I desperately want the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to each opportunity He places before me--in my own family, and also in my church family and beyond.  I'm called with you to encourage and rebuke with all authority, just as Paul called Titus to do.  
   Lord, thank you for loving us enough to both encourage us and to rebuke us.  Help us to put our God-glasses on and to be sensitive to Your voice and then to be obedient to bless and encourage and invest in the people you point out to us.  Amen.

My Father's Day Treasure

Titus 2:2-"Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance."

   I've been reading in the tiny book of Titus.  This morning, I came across the above verse and just thought about it for a long while.  Hopefully I'm not the only person who fixates on particular points in Scripture, but I couldn't get away from wondering why Paul listed so many things to teach to the older men.  I wonder what age group would constitute being an older man? I know that Paul is giving instructions for Titus as he oversees and teaches in the churches that were planted.  As I read further, I realized that Paul also gave instructions for teaching the younger men as well, but the only character point on his scope and sequence for the younger men was self-control, which is very important and very difficult to master.  I'm guessing that if the younger men can exercise self-control, then the other character points will be more attainable as they age.  But, how do you teach an older man to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled and sound in faith, love, and endurance?  Doesn't it take years to work those things into the fabric of your being? So I began thinking of my own life, and the life of the "older" man I live with--the man I am honored to call my husband and the man my kids call dad.  

   My mind has wandered this week to all of the wonderful things my husband has done over the years for his family and I've been so grateful to God for giving him to me over 26 years ago. I understand that none of us are ever perfect and our lives are journeys of growth and we will never achieve any kind of perfection on this side of eternity. So let me be clear--I am not idolizing my husband.  I just want to honor him for walking with Jesus all of these years and allowing the Holy Spirit to work those character traits in the above text into his life.  When I think of someone who is temperate, it's him.  Does he lose his temper?  At times.  Can he be opinionated? Can't we all?  But he is moderate in this area.  So, temperate...check.  When I think of someone worthy of respect, it's him.  He has managed to grow a family of 3 boys who respect him immensely.  He has walked his talk for years and has been one of the most intentional fathers I have ever known.  His sons go to him for advice and actually respect him enough to actually listen to him.  We all esteem him for being excellent in his role as a father and a husband.  So, worthy of respect...check.  When I think of someone who is self-controlled and sound in faith, love, and endurance, it's definitely him.  He has never been excessive in any area.  And when it comes to being sound in his faith, I have seen him weather some of the most frightful storms in life.  I know this because I have been beside him and weathered them as well.  But instead of losing his faith and walking away, he has held hard to the Author and Finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). Sound in faith...check.  Over the years, he has been sound in his love for his Savior, his wife, and his kids.  It's a challenge to love people at times.  There are different sides to us all and it can be difficult to love all of them.  But, we all have to choose to love and that's what he has done.  He has loved me through many of my most unloving behaviors.  He has loved his boys through toddlerhood, adolescence, and into their adult lives like a champ.  Sound in love...check.  And finally he has been sound in enduring, it's him again.  It takes determination and a strong will to endure and not give up when the going gets tough.  When it would have been easier to throw in the towel and walk away, he has chosen to stay and persevere.  When it would have been easier to shift blame to something or someone else, he has chosen to accept responsibility, even for things that weren't always his fault.  He calls it "falling on his sword". When it may have been easier to bend the rules and get ahead in business, he has chosen to remain truthful and honest.  Sound in endurance...check.  

   So, I honor my husband and the father of my children in my heart today.  Thank you for emulating the qualities Paul spoke of in Titus 2:2 and for being the patriarch of our family through thick and thin all of these years.  Lance Welch, you are my treasure.