MEN-OH-PAUSE

Please let me apologize right now if anybody reading this is offended by the topic of this blog entry.  It's never my intention to offend anyone, or to be in appropriate in any way.  So, before you read any further, if you are one who tends to be embarrassed by talking about the changing seasons of a woman's life, you may want to stop reading.  It's been a very long time since I've written, and we all know that in a woman's life, a whole lot can happen in a short amount of time, let alone a long stretch of months.  I guess consistency isn't one of my strengths when it comes to blogging and writing.  It seems lately, I can't seem to find many of what I would consider my strengths.  However, my weaknesses are everywhere I look.  They're all over the place.  In fact, I'm tripping over them and can't get any normal traction going in my daily routines.  They're everywhere, like toddlers hanging onto my legs as I try to simply walk through my days.  Every woman knows that, as we approach mid-life, we will be required to navigate some unfamiliar territory.  That territory is lovingly, and often sarcastically referred to as menopause.  Men-oh-pause. What an interesting word.  The first and most hilariously interesting thing that strikes me is the word "men" in menopause.  I don't know about you, but my man is just about as clueless as I am when it comes to this frighteningly real slip and slide of my emotions right now.  The real ironic thing is that I live with four men.  None of them have a clue about the hormonal and emotional havoc that we women experience.  They think they do because they live with a woman, but we all know it's not the same.  I'll admit that for years, a common familiar phrase that would come out of my mouth was, "No uterus, no opinion."  I know--I'm a little embarrassed about it, but I really don't believe that, without a uterus, a male member of my family can truly understand my NEED for dark chocolate or ice cream at those times that I desperately must have it.  Those are not the times that I need to hear, "Are you sure you want to eat that? It's a whole lot of calories."  Nor can they understand my need once in a while to stay in my pajamas and watch Lifetime movies for most of the day.  Those are not the times that I need to hear, "Mom, aren't you going to get up and do anything today?"  No uterus, no opinion.  Enough said.  The second fun fact about this word is that there is an "oh" right in the middle.  (I realize that I'm exercising my creative liberty in putting my own "h" in a word that technically doesn't contain one.  But, it works phonetically, so I'll ask you to please just go with it.) I guess that's the word my family and I both think at times as I can sometimes spiral off into unpredictable fits of expressing myself.  They look at me as if I have three heads and I can almost hear what they are thinking.  "Oh man, she's really gone off the deep end now!"  "Oh, I didn't see that coming!" Or, my personal favorite, "Oh, there she goes again...just being a girl!"  This sneaky little "oh" also finds its way into my own thoughts.  I find myself frequently thinking, "Oh, good grief, can somebody turn down the air?!?"  The last part of this word is the word "pause".  I feel like the word pause is the part of this whole season that has caught me the most off guard. In a very real way, this season of pre-menopause has indeed pushed a pause button deep within me. Over the last several days, I have sensed the Lord quietly speaking to me about taking advantage of this pause.  He's urging me to use this paused time in my life to find Him in it.  To search His Words for my answers and remedies and to call my body to order.  When I tend to feel very overwhelmed by everything that's changing inside, He whispers to me, "Allison, I formed your inward parts and covered you in your mother's womb.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made."(Psalm 139:13-14)  When I wonder what my purpose is now in this season of transition, He says, "You, sweet girl, are My workmanship, created in Me for good works, which My Father prepared beforehand that you should walk in them."(Ephesians 2:10)  And when I feel paralyzed by fear of the unknown and traversing unfamiliar territory, He reminds me, "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but one of power, of love, and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)  I'm choosing to decide to overcome this season of change, and not to be overcome by it.  One day at a time.  Selah. Pause, and quietly think of that.  How ironic that He's calling me to PAUSE and quietly think on His Word.  He knows that the only true, long-lasting remedy is His Word.  His Word will usher me from one seasonal shift of my life right into the next.  Gracefully. Fearlessly. Victoriously. And, along the way, he give me little kisses of encouragement.  Yesterday, one came from my son, Logan, who sweetly brought me a bouquet of flowers and a dark chocolate Hershey's candy bar.  As he hugged me, he whispered in my ear, "Thank you for being my mom--I'm so glad I was born into this family.  I love you."  Those words may not be written in the Bible, but I'm convinced those words come from Him as well.