How did I get here?

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"--Isaiah 30:21
This morning I was praying for a young friend.  He is struggling to know the Lord's plan for his life and where to walk out that plan geographically.  As I was thinking about this, I began to wonder why He allows us to seemingly wander at times.  I mean, some of us really do pray about where to live, which career path to follow, who to marry, what ministry in which to get involved, etc.  Have you ever felt as though you followed exactly what the Lord directed you to do, only to get there and realize that you must not have heard Him correctly?  Over the last several years of my life, there have been so many times that I felt that we didn't hear correctly, and I wondered what disaster our lives had suddenly gotten cosmically sucked into.  After days and weeks and months of soul-searching prayer and striving to figure out where we went wrong, I began to wonder: 
What if....this was the Lord's plan all along?
What if....His intent is not to send me to the country club to grow me up?
What if....He allowed us to enter a dry, barren season to change our paradigm?
What if....I put on my God-glasses and look at what He accomplished around me in spite of our pain?

This is what I have learned.  Perfection tells us that we have to step in perfect cadence to life; grace tells us we have permission to smell the roses along the way.  There were many roses that I had the opportunity to smell along the past seven years of my life.  Some of them were thorny, no doubt, but what if I had never had the opportunity to smell them?  What if I had refused, worried that my cadence was off and I was too focused on getting back on beat?  What if God Himself is the Drummer, and He meant for the cadence to change?  What if every turn we take, every move we make is ripe with possibility for Him to touch someone using our hands? Our feet?  Our friendship and prayers?  I will never achieve perfection.  I can only keep my God-glasses near enough to put them on and know that He promises to be the Voice behind me, telling me to walk in His way.

A Stout and Enduring Heart: Transition

A Stout and Enduring Heart: Transition: "Transition, n. transizh'on. Passage from one place or state to another; change; as the transition of the weather from hot to cold. (Noah We..."

Transition

Transition, n. transizh'on. Passage from one place or state to another; change; as the transition of the weather from hot to cold.  (Noah Webster's 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language).

As I write this, I am in a state of transition.  You know...that place of pressing forward in anticipation of all that a new season of life will bring, and almost at the same time, hanging out in hesitation while looking through the foggy window of what lies behind. Of the life I left behind.  I keep trying to wipe off the fog and mist so I can see more clearly, but it just keeps fogging up again.  I'm looking and searching for familiarity, for comfort, for the everyday mundane things that used to occupy my life, wondering if there is anything I could have done differently.  Maybe situations in which I could have responded more gracefully, people I could have handled more tenderly.  I'm having a tough time focusing to see.  More fog.  Funny--when I look ahead, I'm not plagued with the issue of fog.    I'm warmed by the sunshine and the possibilities that are ahead of me.  I'm realizing that transition isn't always easy.  Even happy transitions bring opportunities to iron out the unpleasant wrinkles that my flesh has seemingly forced into the fabric of my being.  At times, I'm surprised to find them.  Impatience, anger, self-pity, and self-centeredness have seemed to insert themselves into my responses and my facial expressions.  I don't always believe it when my loved ones bring them to my attention.  Surely, they must be mistaken.  But secretly, I know they are there, lurking in the creases of my personality.  Every day, I am faced with hundreds of choices. Do I say yes or do I say no?  Do I clean the kitchen or the bathrooms?  What should I make for dinner?  Do I focus on the good or the bad?  Do I listen or do I speak? Do I react in ways that have found a comfortable place in my heart and mind?  Or do I stop and prayerfully consider my words and responses so I can carefully build my home instead of tearing it down? (Proverbs 14:1).  My purpose in this season of my life has been elusive for some time now. I've searched for it, prayed for God to reveal it, knowing that my purpose has evolved and changed with each year that turns over on the calendar.  But, today, I think I caught a glimpse of it.  Today, I realize that one single thread has woven its way through the tapestry of my life.  It hasn't changed, but somehow I had lost sight of it and couldn't pick it out amongst the other colors and textures. That single thread of purpose is servanthood.  How quickly I have forgotten this one, simple mandate called servanthood.  "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." --Proverbs 12:18.  "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."--Proverbs 31:26.  Today is a day I choose to exchange.  I choose to exchange my anger for peace; my self-pity for gratitude; my self-centeredness for servanthood.  I will serve my family by bringing healing with my words.  I will instruct wisely and gently by allowing Him to speak through me.  Will I never again have to re-iron?  Are these exchanges wrinkle-free?  I doubt it.  But for today, I will build my altar and not look back.  I will trust Him Who has paved the way for transition, knowing that He directs my steps.  I will look to Him to be Perfection personified and try to be faithful in serving the very people in my life that He has chosen to bless me with.